Getting Back with an Ex-Girlfriend
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
ok there's a girl i've had strong feelings for about two months now . I'm trying to build our friendship and stuff but she doesn't open up, well not only to me but she doesn't open up to anybody. She'll start to open up to me in a conversation but after that she'll act kindda distant with me. We see eachother like a few times a week for extended periods of time. And she gives me the "looks" now and then. I try to move on to other girls but when i see her the feelings hit me. Now here's the twist - she's my ex. girlfriend from about two years ago. We were together for about two months when her mom broke it up. Since then she's told other people that she has off and on "feelings" for me and that she would go with me if she had the chance. Well we've just been talking lately and we've been a little more comfortable with eachother. Now she'll give me hugs goobye ect. I think i've made it apparent to her that i have feelings for her but she responds sometimes and sometimes no. She does talk about other guys in front of me though like this guys cute blah blah. We've talked recently about when we were together and why we broke up and stuff. but now i just don't know what to do next.
Well first, two years is a long time, so probably you both grew up a lot and matured in there. So the things that were wrong before could be completely fixed now. In any case, it sounds like you're taking all the right steps. Definitely talk about why you broke up before and steps you'll take going forward so it will be different. Definitely build up the friendship so you're comfortable talking together, and the hugging is GREAT. It makes you friends that are also comfortable touching each other, which is key.
So keep working in that direction. Don't leap into "now you will date me, right?" which will make things very stressful. Instead, find a movie you both like and just ask her to go as friends. Maybe grab some food beforehand, or some ice cream afterwards. Get her into the routine of "doing things with you" as friends, and hugging goodbye after each one. Share your jacket with her. Sit up close to her "comfortably" while you do things together. Soon enough, when you hug her goodbye, you can give her a soft peck on the cheek in farewell. And when you get to the point that the soft peck is on the lips, the transition will have happened without any stressful discussions.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com