My Boyfriend is Changing
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Me and my boyfriend have been very serious. I love him and I know he love me. We even started to talk about marriage.
But lately, he seems to not like me. Its like he gets some sick pleasure from making me cry. And all of a sudden, he says we are young, and we shouldn't think about marriage yet. I just cant seem to see what went wrong.
Is he falling out of love with me? What can I do to make him fall back in love with me. We are so perfect for each other. He has made me happier than I have ever been in my life (up until a couple months ago). And I do everything I can to make him happy.
We have talked about it but he just gives me some excuse like he's stressed. I know its more then that, but I don't think he knows what it is even. I know there isnt another girl for a fact! I just want him to love me again like he used to. He is my best friend and I cant live without him. What should I do?
You need to read up on the stages of a relationship -
NO relationship is ever perfect so if you harbor that illusion that could be part of the problem. He may have gotten past that rose-colored glasses part of life and now sees all the faults the relationship DOES have and is wondering "do I want to live with these faults?" And if you are actively denying there ARE any faults, it will make things worse.
A relationship is about being totally honest and forthright about the way things are. They aren't perfect! There are problems. And if you ACKNOWLEDGE those problems and work on them, they can be fixed. But if you avoid them or pretend they don't exist, they will get worse and worse until they explode and you break up in a nasty manner.
If he's trying to hurt you, something is obviously bothering him. And taking it out on each other is NEVER the solution. So first off, the next time he tries that, walk out. period. Never put up with abuse like that. If he wants to talk to you, he can do so in a reasonable manner, when you return. Ask him WHY he started to do that and "I'm stressed" is NO answer. You are both mature human beings who are mature enough to date and to discuss marriage. That means you ARE mature enough to control how your mouth opens and closes and says things.
So really sit down with him, talk about how all relationships evolve over time, and talk HONESTLY about what you find are faults in your current relationship. That's the only way you can possibly work on the issues and make things work in genearl.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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He's not better