He Moved Out - Now What?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
my boyfriend and i lived together for two months and one day he said he wanted to return by his aunt where he lived. After an argument we had he does not visit me during the week since his return to his aunt but from friday to sunday he stays at my home.
i would like us to return the way before where he lived with me. please let me know how this could happen and for us to go to another level of true commitment if so.
Moving in together is a huge step and takes solid, non-stop work from both people involved. If issues come up, they have to be addressed and worked on and can't just be ignored. It seems like you guys were together for 2 months but that there were issues that bothered him enough that he just couldn't take it any more. He's fine with it being a "casual weekend" thing but he doesn't want to be "stuck" there 24 hours a day.
So HE is the only person who knows what the issues are and YOU are the one who have to talk to him about it. I have advice on having a serious talk here -
Sit down with him and ASK HIM. Have him tell you honesty and truthfully what bothers him. You have to listen! Don't interrupt or yell or cry. Just listen and try to understand. When he is done, think about it and offer suggestions. Don't just say "it's not true" or brush it away. These are his real concerns. You two together have to come up with real solutions to address those concerns before he will feel comfortable enough to try a live-in situation again.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com