How Do I Open Up?
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
how do i "open up" to my boyfriend?
It's great that you're asking the question, because it means that you realize your relationship isn't as open and honest as it could be. And really, those things are KEY in a relationship really working well. Really being with someone and trusting them is all about them knowing everything about you, and accepting it *all* and you knowing all about them. If you only know superficial things about each other, you end up with a superficial relationship.
OK. Talking openly and honestly always works best when there's time to talk, a place you feel relaxed talking in, and no other pressing worries. So have dinner at your place, or his place, or somewhere that is quiet without others around. After you have a delicious filling dinner, sit down together with just music playing and you can start talking. Tell him about what you wanted to be when you were little. Tell him about something scary you remember from growing up. Tell him about how you get along with your parents. Tell him about your favorite toys and why they were special. These sorts of things all tell your boyfriend really important things about you, they make him part of your world. And the more you share, then you can ask him about the same topic in his life, and learn more about him.
It's not just the "what pets did I have" talk that is key really. It's the fact that you ARE talking about things, and sharing information. It's practice. The more you talk together, the easier it is to talk together. And the more you do it, the more you'll know about each other, meaning the easier it is to talk in the future and to have that baseline. You should talk seriously as often as you can, because there are always things that need to be talked about. If you don't practice, then you have trouble when you really do need to talk, and that really makes things worse.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com