Am I Too Nice?

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
there is a month left before the end of the semester in my freshman year at college. i met this great girl at the club. we hung out valentines day and had great conversation and i ended up stayin the night in her bed. nothing happened but a sweet kiss but afterwards she said i was a good kisser but wasnt expection to do that. i know she had a long term abusive relationship before but she has dated many other guys since been at school all of which turned out to be jerks. she knows im not a jerk and constanly complained about not beign able to find a nice guy to me. i get mixed signals from her and not sure how she feels. should i forget about her or be upfront and ask her how she feels? Advice
Undoubtedly she's really worried about losing you as a friend, if she gets things more serious. It sounds like you've been a great friend to her and that this is very special to her. What you need to do is show her that you also are interested in being more than friends, and that together you'll be able to make this transition without hurting the friendship.

All great relationships begin with a great friendship, so this is the perfect start! Tell her that you're already great friends, and can talk together and be comfortable together. You didn't start with sex and then try to catch up with friendship later on. If she's worried about going too quickly and risking the friendship part, take it slow. Go to movies, to dinner, and talk a lot. Then she'll have time to realize that a great friend *and* a great boyfriend can (and should be) the exact same thing.

Good luck!

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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