He Told Me Not to Cheat, Then He Did
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Last year I had had enough of feeling unloved and counting for nothing or so I thought i felt and pushed my husband away to gain some breathing space and sort out my muddled brain. I really did think I wanted to be on my own just to gain some space for me. I told my husband I didn't love him so he'd let me go only he wanted us to live together for 6 months to make sure it was what I wanted. He told me that we weren't to have anybody else in that time because that would be adultery.
I complied and by the end of 6 months I realised I did love him and wanted to make a go of our marriage. In fact I realised this after 3 months but was afraid to say because I thought I'd blown it. He was willing to start again but after a few weeks was a bit agitated and it was then I discovered he'd been having an affair/s.
He was careless with the evidence. He gave me a load of lies, wouldn't tell who the other/s were and said although it was finished I had to forget it happened and move on. i have since discovered that a month into our 6 month trial he bought 3 dozen condoms. He says he was not involved with anybody but was just being cautious. He sent this other woman a bouquet of flowers for valentines day, something he has never done for me and yet he says he didn't love, was never going to leave her for me and that I am the only one he has ever loved.
he knows I'm not stupid and my intuition scares the hell out of him. How can I move on and what should I expect to know from him. Many thanks
Wow, talk about the double standard! If you're not going to cheat you do NOT NEED CONDOMS. Period. And sending flowers to other women is not the sign of someone who is "staying true". You are completely right not to fall for his lies. Find someone who is really able to be true and honest with you, and put this guy behind you. I have a ton of advice on getting through a breakup -
Give yourself time to heal, and then I'm sure you'll find someone great for you!
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com