I Want My Ex Back
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
A few weeks ago i got with this guy two years older than me, and he has a reputation of being a player, but with me he was different, he was like really kind and caring and stuff. Anyway, hes in my sisters year, and she basically told him to leave me alone, so he told me we couldnt be together, because it wouldnt work with her around.
Anyway, im in the school play with him, an its like major eye contact all the time!!! I still really like him, and i know it pissed him off we couldnt be together. He tries to push me away to make himself feel less attached, but i like him so much, and i think if he had just gone for it, it would of been really good for us.
I want him back, but dont know what to do as he is trying to convince himelf he doesnt need me, because he is the kind of guy who is scared of his feelings, and i think it scares him to get attached. i want him to see that we would be great together, because i know im what he needs.
How do i make him see past all the complications, and accept the fact that we could work?! Help!!!!
Nobody should ever "need" someone - they should WANT to be with them because they enjoy each other's company. So instead of trying to get him to need you like an addict needs drugs, spend your time being friends with him. Show him that being friends with you isn't threatening and it isn't a sign of weakness. It's just something that two people who enjoy each other's company do.
If you guys can be good friends without "having to date" and can show your friends and family just how happy you are spending time with each other, their fears will go away. But if you start to show your friends and family that this is an obsession and something you "must do" then they will have those same doubts. Especially if he's not willing to be "just friends" with you. You need to build up that friendship to show yourselves - and show the world - that your care for each other will be there no matter what.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com