The Zing is Gone
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I've been married for 2 years, and while my husband is great, is very sweet and good to me, the Zing is gone. I don't feel as amazingly happy about things as I did when we started. Should I leave him?
Ah, it sounds like you're in the typical "the rush is gone" stage of marriage. The problem is that people see these love stories and romance novels and think that a long relationship always has that same spark and intensity that it does in the beginning. The truth simply is that it doesn't. Your body could never maintain that level indefinitely! Instead, your "this is great!" feelings are replaced with the long, slow steady affection of a lasting relationship.
The most important thing about staying together is that you guys stay best friends, have trust and communication. Zing doesn't last forever. But being there for each other, being treated well, *does*. That isn't something that just comes along every day. It's very special, even if it doesn't seem special when compared to the hot, heavy love of soap operas and movies.
Definitely, you have a keeper there! Don't throw it away because it seems to 'normal and ordinary' now. Many, many women out there would give their left arm to have what you have. Maybe some therapy is in order, where you can talk through your expectations with somebody, and get a handle on what you think a relationship should be like after many years.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com