We've Evolved Into Friends
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
My wife and I have been married for 2 years dated 3 years before that. In the beginning things were great and loved flowed freely. There are no kids involved and we do spend a great deal of time together, However I do not feel as close or as connected as I once did. Not just in the beginning but when we were first married I felt much more close.
We married young 22 and I feel like we have grown apart, We now have many diffent interests and enjoy different things. We do have a few interests that are similar but there are less than more.
At what point do you feel that a relationship where you were best friends and lovers, now turns into just friendship? How do you know when that change has occurred? I think it has but do not want to give up if there is more I can do. I love her dearly but maybe I love her as a friend and not a Wife.
I know she loves me more than anything, and she does think the world of me. What should I do, I really dont want to hurt her but i dont want to be miserable if things get worse. Help Please>>>>>>>
All human beings evolve over time. That is what we are about. Our interests change, our bodies change, our minds change. The point of marriage is that you stay together during that time and find new and interesting things to do together.
I have a page on the stages of marriage here -
and it's normal for that initial passion and lust to settle down into a long term friendship. When you two are 80 years old and moving slowly down the path at Niagara Falls, it will be the friendship and caring you feel for each other, not the hot-and-steamy sheet action you crave!
Also, relationships don't just "happen". No matter WHAT relationship you are in, it takes work, every day, to stay connected, to share your lives, to find new interests and keep your brains and hearts engaged. So don't just sit back and wait for it to happen. I have tons of tips on the site about how to keep romance going and how to stay best friends.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com