I Drove Him Away - I Want Him Back
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I spent a great summer with my boy friend and I thought he had a great time to because he told me he loved me and he was so good to me that summer he bought me things, he took me out, and ever thing was perfect. When the end of the summer came we both decided to go home and see other people.
Since it is long distance for us to call each other, He would call me once a month. Then after months my sister who lives close to him offered him a ride to my house. He came out here to see me but we had never really kissed other than a peck on the cheek that was mostly because we spent a lot of time around my litttle niece and nephew. My family follows us around and makes us very uncomfortable.
He was always trying to be romantic and I didn't realize it. I was very mean to him once I even snapped and told him to get off of me when he hugged me. I am a very picky whiny person. I never realized it but I aways ruined our time together.
I've been in bad relationships before and I guess I pushed him away because I was afraid I was going to get hurt. He treated me like a queen. We are still far away but i'm planning to move out there as soon as I can if he wants to take me back.
I have told him I am sorry and that I miss him and that I realized how much I loved him but he has a girl friend now and he could care less about what I say. I made a big mistake and I MISS HIM SO MUCH can you please help me get him back.
Right now he has a very negative mental image of you and you can't just "talk that away". You have to SHOW him that you are different now and that you learned a valuable lesson about how to behave in a relationship.
So start by DOING it. Rebuild your friendship with him. Don't pressure him to "take you back" - just be his friend. Chat with him, stay in touch with him, offer to go to movies and such with him as a friend. Show him that you can be friendly, fun, that time with you does NOT involve stress.
If he sees that you really are a changed person, he may choose to spend more time with you and to date you again. But do NOT push him into it. If you do, it will be "your fault" from that point forward and will ruin the relationship. Instead just be there for him, show him that you are a good match for him and let him make the actual decision.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com