Lying to my Husband

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
i lied to my husband abt something..... i only did it cos i didnt want him to feel i ignored him.... but he found out and hes very upset.... i admitted it and told him i only did it cos i didnt want him to feel bad for it.... what do i do??

he doesnt even want to talk to me....he told me to call and check on something for him but i totally forgot... so i told him that i have called and its not ready.....but he had called earlier and he got the information that it was ready.... may seem like a menial thing but hes mad at me and it wont go away.....

i dont know wat to do... i have to kill myself if he doesnt stop being mad at me... hes my life and i just didnt want to hurt him Advice
Trust is THE most important thing you can have in a relationship - and the point is if you break that trust about something stupid, why would you be trusted in something more serious? So that is why he's upset.

There's no reason to abandon him, though!! He obviously cares about you a great deal - otherwise this betrayal wouldn't have hurt him as much. It is going to take a lot of work to prove to him again that you made a mistake and have learned from it - but this is now your task. Don't just abandon the task! If you really care for him, put 100% of your effort into this. Show him that you're sorry, that you've learned from your mistake and that you now realize how important honesty is. If he truly can't recover from it on his own, then talk to a therapist. One way or another he and you have to move on from this and go forward. That's what being in a relationship is about - realizing you are both human, both make mistakes and both move on. if he or you are unable to move on, bring in a therapist. Life is about making mistakes and moving on. It's a normal part of life. So either you deal with that - or if either of you expect "perfection" it's time to bring in a 3rd party to add a dose of reality to your vision.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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