This Guy is Playing Games

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I have known a guy whom I really liked and would like to have a serious relationship with him . I would really like him to make a move. Sometimes I feel he liked me and am on his mind but just playing hard to get but sometimes I have a feeling he has forgotten me.

I met him once at a friend's place and he actually showed me much attention and interest. I wanted to go some places, he insisted taking me there. He talked about his family, his hobbies and much interesting things. He was very open to me about his life. I was shy so I couldn't talk to him much and didn't discuss much. He really wanted me to open up. He told me he finds me a beautiful and intelligent girl and any man will like me.

When my friend left, he called his ex (I heard he has just broken with his ex) to say sorry for the death of his granfather and told me that the girl he is talking to is just a friend and maybe I know her as she is also a friend of my sister. I heard about this girl and also saw her once. I just don't care if he has left her, I know this guy is a gentleman and the girl is not right for him. He told me he had his relationship for three months and decided to end it.

After all the interest he showed me, and was sure he is single, i thought it will be easy to start a relationship with him. I called him after a week but he was busy so he told me he'll give me a call and would like to meet me. He didn't call me so I called him after sometimes to ask him about a PC he wanted to sell. He saw my number on his phone and hanged up. I called him 3 times more and he did the same. At last he picked up and told me he will call me later, he had people around.

I sometimes feel that maybe he had his family with him that's why he didn't pick my phone and couldn't talk. I called the next day and told him I'm interested with buying the computer from him and he told me that I should give him time and he will call me but did not call . After sometimes, he met my friend and started asking her about me, what I am doing and so on. I started feeling he might be interested but just playing hard to get if he has sensed I want him or my approach is subtle and he didn't understand my interest and fears making the first move since his ex is also my sister's friend and maybe I won't accept that. or just that he doesn't like me.

I am sure that he is single as he told me this himself and I am sure of the attraction he had to me the first time we met. Should I call him again and what should I say? how can I make him understand my feelings towards him and make him closer to me . I really don't want to loose this guy. help!!!!!!! Advice
Wow, he sounds really mixed up!! He definitely sounds like he likes you - but he keeps HANGING UP ON YOU??? Talk about the ultimate in rude! Even if his family WAS around he could just say "Can I call you back?" To hang up on someone like that is about as nasty as you can get. Not only that but he keeps promising to call you and doesn't. That is equally rude.

Playing hard to get is a pretty BAD idea to start with, and if he was GOING to do it it involves him showing he's interested in you but just "busy with other girls" so you get competitive. It NEVER, EVER involves being deliberately rude and hanging up on you.

You can never force someone to like you. And if someone is being a deliberate jerk to you, it might be best not to!! If he can do that to you while he's in the "courtship" phase, who knows what other depths of behavior he would sink to when he's settled down into the "she's just my regular girlfriend" stage. I would sit back and make him start doing his part here. If he likes you, he'll get in touch with you. But if he keeps up this behavior, I would call it good riddance and start scouting around for someone much better for you.

-- from Jenn
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