I Know She Lied - Now What?
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
Here is the situation, im back to my old love. It means im back to my ex-girl. Its been 8 month since we're not talking and right now, we are back as a lovable couple.
The problem is, we didnt settle down the old prob so we just ignored it like it didnt happened. The old problem that had made us broke up is, im looking back to her history. Since i'd know that she had slept with guys before, even i'd talked to her ex before me and he had told me what they had done, but she still wont admit it.
I know she is just doing it for good, for our own good. But, deep in my soul, i know its not true. she'd lied to me. Is it good for me to not to ignore the problem and start solving it?
If she thinks that lying is in any way a good thing, it's a time to make her realize how bad this is!! You are QUITE right in worrying that something that broke you up before needs to be talked about. It broke you guys up once. It WILL break you up again unless you get it resolved.
I have a page on my site about having serious talks. Read it here -
Set the scene and then tell her that a relationship is about 100% Honesty. Period. The end. She HAS to be fully honest with you. You do NOT CARE what she did in the past! It was the past and made her what she is today - which is someone you love. But you DO CARE that she is honest with you and can TRUST you. If she doesn't trust you, this is not going to work. So she has to be honest about what she was, what she is, and what she is going to be.
You accept her! You love her! But for you to TRUST her she has to be 100% honest. This involves NEVER lying even if it hurts. She has to TRUST you with the truth. Make that really clear to her, and hopefully together you can get through this.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com