I'm Jealous of My Partner's Past
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I've previously tryed to avoid becoming involved with someone if a previous partner of theirs was known to me. Ive been seeing someone for 6 months and from the start i knew of their previous one night relationship and its been something that has made me quite jealous but not filled my thoughts.
We started as friends and became lovers after 18 months. i found out they had unprotected sex and the pangs of jealousy have increased immensely.
How can i overcome this, whenever i think of it i try to replace the thought with a happy memory but it just doesnt work.
Every one of us human beings has a past. It's part of being a human being. That past is what MADE us what we are now. One of the keys to being truly in love with someone is accepting ALL they are in their past - bad, good, ups, downs, EVERYTHING. You can't pick and choose what you like about someone. You have to accept ALL of it and know that all of what that person went through is what molded their current being.
You can NOT obsess about certain things in someone's past being bad. Those things in their past are what made them into the person they are now, who you love. Every little thing they did was critical in making them the person they are today. If they had unprotected sex, that was part of it! That taught them lessons that are important to what they are now.
You have to accept that YOU are the person they choose to be with now, with all their heart. It is only because of those past experiences that they were ready for the relationship with you now.
Read my tips on jealousy -
and work to fully acepting your partner as they are, right now.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com