I'm dating a friend of my ex
Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
I have been dating a man for almost 6 months. We got together shortly after my husband and I split up. He is a friend of both my husband and myself. He does not want to tell his children (who I know) that it is me who he is seeing. My husband as well does not know. He did tell a close female friend of his about us.
We see each other once a week and talk on the phone every night. We have both shared that we are in love with each other. He seems so afraid still that his kids or my ex-husband are going to find out about us. We do not go out in public. He will not even leave a message on my answering machine. He has not given me anything that could reveal that he and I are together. Do you think once the divorce is final and time passes that he might feel better about the relationship and not care if it is known?
I know it is not a good idea to get involved with someone so soon after a seperation, but we were only back together about 2 months following a 8 month seperation just to give it one more try and we both found out it was not going to work.
I know that my boyfriend is bothered by the fact that he knew both of us as a married couple. I just want some assurance that as time passes he will be comfortable enough to let our relationship be known. We both are so much in love with each other.
It's very, very common for people to date friends and acquaintances. This happens all the time. You get comfortable with people who are around you all the time, and that is who you turn to when current relationships crumble. Not only is it common for people to date friends from when they are married, but somtimes couples break up and then date each other's other halves!
I'm sure once you guys are fully divorced and the marriage is a thing of the past, things will get better. But if you aren't even divorced yet, then technically you are a married woman and of course he is concerned about dating you! So take it easy until you are legally divorced and everything is settled. That is when to get more serious.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com