He Used to be Sweet, Now he's Sour
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
ive been with this guy for two months and everything went great at first...he was sweet and always complemented me. He really seemed like he wanted to be with me and tried talking to me. i really started to care about him.
now everything changed whenever he is with his friends he's mean to me and even when were alone he disrespects me. why is he doing this? i mean i am so sweet to him and im always willing to listen to him.
now i dont even know if were together anymore. what should i do? does he not care anymore? what made him change all of the sudden or act mean next to his friends? can i make him fall in love with me again?
thank you so much it means a lot!
Some people get this really stupid idea that it's hip to be cruel to a person you love. That it proves you're in control and have the other person on a leash, like a pet. All that proves is that you're a jerk and not deserving of having a boyfriend or girlfriend, because you're not mature enough to handle it yet.
He's using you as a tool to prove he's macho to his friends. The more you let him do it, the more he'll keep getting worse - not only to you, but to any other girl he's with too. So you're training him to be a jerk to an entire generation of girls, in essence!! It's time to stop doing that and to start teaching him what it means to be a man.
A man treats a woman with respect because he doesn't want to be alone!! Women who don't get respect don't stick around. So the next time he does something mean to you, walk out. Don't make a huge scene. Just say "I have something better to do" and leave. It's not very manly to be ditched by a woman because you're a jerk. So he'll be upset and say "Hey! Why'd you do that!" and you can clearly explain it to him.
Either he understands he's being a jerk and starts treating you better, or he keeps being a jerk and is alone. Very few guys want to be alone, and I bet even if he does choose that, he'll realize after a short while that he would rather be with you and come back and promise to be nicer. Just hold him to it! Remember, this isn't about just one night or one situation. it is about the way he IS and the way he treats women ALWAYS. This is something he better learn NOW.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com