I Think He Is Cheating
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I've been with this guy for about seven to eight months. And i always get this feeling that he's cheating on me. So one day i went over there and he was walking to meet this girl that lives by him. So i asked him about it and he said they were just hanging out as friends. Oh and also he took me home early that night and said he had to "work". But as much as that broke me up inside....i still stayed with him. I try so hard to trust him but i just can't. And now when ever he has to go "work" i think he's going out with her. I don't know what to do.
I usually argue very strongly for trust and honesty and so on. But it does sound like you have a reasonable reason to be concerned here. Yes, guys do and should have girl friends. But they should also be completely honest about them, because they're not a threat. If a guy is HIDING a girl, that is very bad. Once a relationship has deception in it, it becomes a matter of how MUCH he will lie, not IF he will lie.
Where does he work? The next time he says he's going to work and you doubt it, just go and stop by with a small present. See if he's there or not. Or stop by that girl's house and ask to talk with her. If nothing else, if you become friends with that girl, you can get a better sense of just how she's involved in all of this.
You can't become paranoid, and it really could be that he is just friends with her and has a heavy work schedule. So you need to find out if it's true, and then either judge him for his cheating or accept in his honesty and go forward from there. But to just worry about it for months and months will destroy you.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com