Do I Love Him? How Can I 4get Him?

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
I'm a girl who's only 14. There's this popular guy in my school. At first i didn't felt anything about him. But after our teacher put us in the same group, i feel like I can't stop thinking about him.

Normally I can just try my best to get his attention. But this is different. He's popular, in girls. There's at least 15 girls in the school who like him, and most of them are popular and nice. And I don't want to hurt or ruin the friendship between me and them, plus even if i became his girlfriend someday, I don't think I can take the jealousy around me.

I'm not the fighty type, and I just want the crush buried in my heart forever. But everytime I saw his dark brown eyes, my heart always melted. And I can't seem to stop thinking about him any second.

I like this guy so much, but the problem is: Too many girls like him, and he likes too many girls. How can I forget him? Advice
It's REALLY really normal to have a crush like this. It's something every human being has had!! It's a way to get into love without being hurt (although I admit it can FEEL painful to wish your crush loved you back!) In essence with a crush you can have all sorts of strong feelings about love and desire and so on without the guy actually being there and maybe cheating on you and hurting you. You have the dreams without some of the nasty reality parts.

So treasure your crush, it's a very important step in life. And work on being friends with him! Don't aim right now to be his one and only girlfriend. Am on being his best friend. Talk with him, have fun with him. You are a unique person who is different from all of those other girls, and it may be that spark that you have that catches his eye. Lots of guys go for the 'interesting, special girl' instead of going for the 'most popular girl' or 'most gorgeous girl' or so on. Guys aren't as MTV-braindead as many think they are. They actually DO care about what a girl is like.

Once you're his best friend, the rest may come naturally. Or maybe by then you'll like someone else and just be happy to have such a great friend. But you need to take it in stages, and see how it goes. I have a ton of flirting tips on my site which can help out.

Good luck!

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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