Jealous about an Ex

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I read through your questions and answers on jealousy, but my question was kind of answered but not the right way.

I get really jealous of an ex boyfriend who broke up with me because he didn't want things to get too serious. We had a perfect relationship with each other, but he just didn't want to continue.

So my question is how do I stop being so jealous when I see him with other women or hear about it? (The bad part is, is that he is my co-worker too) Advice
I think the key here is that you've idealized your relationship with him. NO relationship is EVER perfect, and especially if he didn't want to get serious with you, there must have been some substantial flaws in what he thought the relationship was about. The more you idealize things, the more you'll want him back because he was "the one, the only, the prince charming" etc. etc.

He was NOT perfect, the relationship was NOT perfect. Something was wrong enough to break it apart! Keep reminding yourself of the things that were bad in the relationship. Find other things to do to occupy your time and your mind. Go out to movies, soak in the tub, sign up for a class on a subject you've always wanted to learn about! The more happy you are with yourself and your life, the less that someone like that jerk ex of yours (grin) will mean to you at all!

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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