We broke up, I want her back
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
I was dumped after six months of a seemingly wonderful relationship. I love her very much, but took the break-up like a soldier, acting like "it was fine", it wasnt. I kept my head high, didnt grovel and tried to show no-emotion. She certainly knew I did not want to break-up.
I have not taken the intiative to call, she calls occasionally to see if I'm OK, I'd act like I'm happy to hear from her but would remain strong or seemingly so. I never cheated, and was always respectful. I felt that since I was always good to her she would come to her senses and come running back to her boyfriend. Outside of the occasional phone call she does not seem as if she's gonna run any time soon.
My problem is that after a month and a half (feels like a year) of this, my false facade is crumbling. I really miss her,& I think I am truly in love with her and dont know if I should break down and beg for her back, or continue my silly charade and hope for the best. I know I really just need to put this all behind and find someone new, I just cant get over my strong feelings to be with her and wonder if she is "the one".I really cant get her out of my head. Please Help!
OK, here's the thing. Although you may not realize it, you have been lying to her this entire time. Why were you putting up a false facade to the woman who was supposed to be your partner in life? If there is ANYONE you should be 100% honest with, it should be her. You didn't say what caused the breakup, but it must have been something serious. People don't break up on a whim. At least part of it sounds like you were holding back emotions from her, trying to be 'manly' and strong. But a REAL partner in a relationship - man OR woman - is one who shares what he thinks and feels and expects the same. If she couldn't trust you to be honest with her, then she couldn't expect to build a relationship with her.
I would sit down with her IN PERSON and explain how you really feel. That is what ANY person deserves in a relationship. Explain why you foolishly lied to her before and that you promise not to do it again. Explain to her why you miss her. And then talk seriously about WHAT caused the breakup before and discuss ways to handle those situations in the future.
Unless you are honest with her now, and fully honest in discussing and dealing with what caused the breakup, it just won't work.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com