we had all the reasons to break up,but still i want to be with her
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
My situation is rather complicated and strange,
i met this when she was 14,we couldnt date because of her mother but We had lots of things in common,more than i ever had with anyone until now by far and i loved her alot so i decided to wait for her beeing 16 as this was the age of consentiment,but we ended up dating secretly until then. But she made 16 in may this year, her mother,who by this time knew me very well,didnt let us date,this time...religion issues,wich although her daughter is also religious she was ok with beeing with me even if i was atheist as long as i respected her views,wich i did.
The real problem started in february this year,i felt sick with gastritis,and that made me very weak,i had lots of pain,and had to go to the hospital 4 times in 2 months,not only that,i starting having anxiety issues,
that made me feel very lonely,very scared and had lots of physical symptoms,and for the 1st time in my life i felt like everything i knew was colapsing around me,and I was other person that wasnt independent,relaxed and calm as always but insecure,needy and uneasy all the time,not to mention i had some depression after her mother didnt let us date.
Of course this affected our relationship,i become alot more clingy,more jealous,less confident about us,and overall less funny.
What happened was that when she got back from vacation 2 weeks ago,i confronted her saying:
"We havent talked much about our relationship, what shall we do now?"
Wich she replied
" We wont go back to what we used to be before,i dont feel the same as i felt for u before,even though i still love you,i dont want u to have hope,as its possible my love wont last until i am 18."
To make things worse i was already studying her faith to understand better... and bursted out crying like i never did since i was kid and wanted to use reason to make her change her mind.
wich is obviously not the way to go,and then she told me we still were best friends and she wouldnt stop talking with me.
Last time i saw her was in a concert of mine,and what happened was that i could barely talk with her,i felt insecure,i felt anxious,and i felt that i didnt knew her anymore,and well she told me she didnt really mind that i was acting like that,wich made me think she already
didnt really care as much about me,and i know...she still has some feelings for me but lost that spark.Anyway we havent talked with each other for a week now...i really want her back,even if i know i have to wait,she gave me a lot of happyness...
It really sounds like this girl has moved on, romantically. Sometimes people fall out of love for no good reason. Sometimes that happens, and it's not anything you did or didn't do. If she wants to be a casual friend, that is nice, if you can be that without pining over her. It's best for you to do whatever you need to so that you can move on.
-- from Jill
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com