Do I let things settle down?

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
My girlfriend broke up with me last Tuesday. We were together for 2 years. And the past few months we've been having some ugly arguments (mostly when drunk) and I have said and done things which i now see were very hurtful. Ive taken a step back and finally see what my faults were. She has given me chance after chance to make things right and i never fully took the time to really sit down and see what i was doing wrong until it was too late. Well i pushed her to the edge. She said she doesnt feel in love with me anymore and she wishes she felt differently. She called me the day after we she broke up to see me and and we cuddled spent night together. Then again a few nights later she wanted to hang. Now again, yesterday she said she just cant do this anymore, she has nothting left. We had a good relationship, other than the drunken arguments and my sometimes foul moods. Im really wanted to make these changes but she says its too late. What do i do? Do I just leave her be? I dont want to totally disappear off her radar. We are both 27 years old Advice
The ball is really in her court at this point. All you can do is let her know you will continue to be her friend and be there for her, and to check in from time to time. When you do check in, don't make it heavy - be light, caring and friendly.

At this point it sounds like she's tried to re-feel the love she had for you and it just was not there. Give her as much time as she needs, be the kind of friend everyone wants, and pursue your own goals and hobbies.

Maybe if she sees you moving on with your life she will feel like she wants you back. Or maybe she will just be glad you are getting over her and being happy on your own. But either way, you will hopefully still have your friendship, and you will learn to be happy on your own, no matter what she does or does not do.

-- from Jill
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