I dont want to break his heart
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
When I first met this shy guy, he was with a friend of his and that friend of his was very self-confident and even a little arrogant. I was even wondering how these two could be friends - they are so different.
Anyway, they were /and still are/ friends. So, we three started spending time together. While being around his arrogant friend though, the shy boy did not talk with me at all.
One day the arrogant guy moved to a different city to work. And here is when the weird things started. The shy boy changed all of a sudden towards me. He started calling me more often and spending more time around me. Overall, he changed completely after the arrogant guy left. At the beginning I was not paying attention, but then one day I just asked the shy guy why he changed. His answer totally surprised me. “I am trying to make you happy!” he said.
A couple of months later I found a job in a nearby city and I had to move. Two or three days before my departure, we had a small gathering. At that gathering the shy guy started acting totally crazy. He started following me around. he told me that he will miss me but he is very happy for me. he brought his memory notebook and asked me to write in it. he gave me a small present for good-bye. he said that he wears certain clothes because I like these colors… Later during the evening I unintentionally asked him about his best friends. He told me that his best friends are John, Mary, etc. and… I.
And so on and so forth. We have become even closer since that gathering. Once when I was pissed off at him about something the next day he told me that he had been thinking about this the whole night. He said he had been very worried about me being angry at him, etc.
So, I am wondering if this is just friendship or more? I see him as a friend only. What if he sees me in a different way? How shall I act so that I don’t hurt him?
Yes, I would say he clearly likes you more than as just a friend. If you are certain you do not like him that way back, then you can gently let him know. Get together for coffee and say, "I value you so much as a friend to me. I don't want anything to change that. You do know I don't see you as more than a friend, right? I just don't want anything to hurt our friendship."
See what he says. Hopefully with your honesty he can move past this small bump in your friendship. He sounds like a great guy. Maybe you might WANT to think about being more than friends...
-- from Jill
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com