A little help?
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
Well, to start off, I'd just like to say I don't know what to do. My ex and I recently broke up after I found out from her friend that she still kind of liked her ex. I tried to talk to her about it and she didn't want to and after awhile of her trying to change the subject, I got the feeling she didn't want to talk about it at all. I kind of felt that if we couldn't at least try and talk and work things out, then we shouldn't be in a relationship. After about two weeks, I've realized I still really care about her, and her best friend told me she feels the same way. (Her best friend also happens to be my best friend.) She said I should ask my ex out again, but I just don't know if I should get back together with her because if something happens and she's not willing to talk things out, it will be sort of pointless. What should I do???
You are right. If you get involved again and are not able to talk things out, it will be painful and pointless in the end. Since you are the one aware of this issue, I'd suggest trying to set some ground rules from the beginning. Number one - that you promise to be honest with each other, even if it is hard to be. Even if it is easier to ignore things - or worse - lie to each other.
On the other hand, most people have exes, and most people still carry around some feelings for them. Everyone deserves a little privacy in their own heads about these things.
So yes, talk things out and be honest with each other. But also allow her to have her privacy about her past. It's a fine line to walk.
-- from Jill
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com