Getting Really Mixed Signals
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
So there's this guy in my lab that I've known for quite a while and like. This semester I decided to actually try to pursue him (even though I liked him last year, I was going through a bit of a rough time then). He is my lab partner this semester so I decided to give it a go. The first few weeks we hung out a few times outside of class. One particular time when I was alone with him in his apartment to drop something off, he made INSANELY long eye contact and when I left he gave me a really long hug (the back-rub kind) and a kiss on the cheek. But since then he's cooled off for some reason and I barely see him outside of class, and I haven't acted any differently lately so I don't know why. Normally I would think he lost interest...but the thing is, he still acts completely interested in class.
In class: He's still always making super strong eye contact and whenever I randomly decide to look at him he's usually already looking at me, he teases me quite often, he plays footsie with me or lightly kicks my leg to get my attention, he sits facing toward me and with his legs close to mine/seems to mirror my movements, he has broken the touch barrier many times and stands as close as humanly possible when we do experiments, etc. And even though we both leave the academic building at different exits to go to our dorms, he usually walks me outside. Now keep in mind I have been doing my share to to try to make my feelings known. I was texting him for a bit outside of class, but stopped because he hasn't initiated texting me at all lately and I didn't want to get annoying.
So I'm just really confused because I would think if he liked me he would pretty much let it be known or at least ask me out on a date. He's generally a super outgoing and funny guy (although he does get pretty quiet around me). I don't understand why he wouldn't even make an effort to see me outside of class anymore yet act completely different whenever I do see him. Help? And I am so so sorry that this is quite long.
It's hard to say. In class, he seems to like you very much. But if he does not initiate contact with you at all at other times, I find that a little suspect. He might have a girlfriend already, or be already pursuing someone else, or getting over someone else.
I'd ask him directly out for a coffee date or something low key. If he does not jump on the chance to do something with you, then I would just accept that this is only flirtation on his part, and that he is not trying to be serious about you.
-- from Jill
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com