A guy giving me mixed signals
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Ok, So me and my boyfriend broke up about 2 months ago. All of his friends were so mean to me except one. About 2 weeks ago, he showed up at my place with a bottle of wine. He took me out to dinner, and dropped me back home, and then came back, telling me he didn't want to go home yet. he gave me a back rub, and a big hug goodbye.
He told me that he wanted to get together again later on in the week. He makes plans then cancels them. He went on a date, but told me I was more fun to hang out with. How do I know if he likes me or if hes just being friendly?
Im 23 but I feel like im 16 with the feelings that im having. Do I say anything to him? I might add, that hes a counselor in a school, so thats whats throwing me off. I don't know if he's interested, or if its just the counselor in him, being nice to me and helping with my problems. Please Help!
You need to be really cautious here. Part of why you feel like a 16 year old is that you're right in the middle of Rebound Central. You go through ALL sorts of emotions when you break up, and if you start dating someone else in there you are setting the relationship up for near-certain disaster. When you finally emerge from rebound you may drop the guy you're dating just because he was the rebound guy and wrapped up in the bad emotions. Or the rebound emotions may damage the relationship so much that it can't be repaired.
Take the next few weeks just to take care of yourself, do things you enjoy, have fun. Don't date just yet. He may be feeling sorry for you, he may be feeling guilty about jumping in where his friend had just left, he may be unsure about how the relationship would work. But after a few weeks when he and you have had time to think about it, you can start working on the friendship with him - and then see if it leads somewhere. But definitely start with friendship and see how that goes.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com