Proving you Want your Ex Back

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
How to prove to your ex that you really want him back? Advice
This question starts with the assumption that your ex does NOT think you want him back. In most cases exs feel at least some draw to each other, since relationships do not usually "turn off" like a water spigot. So it would depend a lot on why the ex in this case thinks there would be no draw at all any more.

For example, here would be a situation where the ex would not think you really wanted him back again. Let's say you were cheating on him for months and months with another guy. You were found out and went off with that other guy. Then the other guy cheated on you, left you alone, and now you came back to your ex saying you wanted to date again. This could clearly be a case where your ex was distrustful over your motives.

However, in most cases, the two halves of the partnership know that the other person could want them back again. After all, they were together before for a reason. They had feelings before. So there is the logical thought that the feelings could be rekindled.

So if it wasn't some sort of a cataclysmic collapse situation as envisioned above, then certainly the ex probably knows it's a possibility you want to get back together again and it's more a matter of helping THEM want YOU back. You do that by being the type of person they want to be with. You want to be happy, fun, enjoying life, and being the kind of partner he'd enjoy in life. If he's a quiet sci-fi watching type then you talk merrily about the latest sci-fi movies you've seen. If he's a mountain biking type then you go mountain biking regularly, have fun going out mountain biking with friends and talk about it around him. And then maybe invite him along to go with you guys sometime.

Be the person he wants to be around.


-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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