I dont get what is he doing..
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
My bf broke up with me 2 weeks ago. we've been together for 3 months. He told me he just doesn't love me anymore but i watched a lot of videos about that stuff and it seems like its a pretty common thing for guys to say. I am in very good "friends" relations with him right now.
I hung with my ex twice already after break up and the second time he was really provocative. He made me forget that he is not my bf anymore at least 3 times. He was standing on the opposite side of elevator and suddenly he just walked up with very steady walk so close to me and passionately that I thought he was about to kiss me but the elevator door opened. He also grabbed my waist and hugged me from behind like he did when we were dating. I told him once how much I love it and he did it to me after break up. He was also very happy and normal with everything like we were still dating except we weren't kissing and stuff.
My question is if what he is doing is normal and if his behavior can mean anything? I am just confused if he actually deep down in his heart still loves me ...
If we take him at face value for saying the feeling is gone, that doesn't just happen. Something causes it to happen. I.e. if someone is extremely happy and everything is going perfectly, they don't decide to leave. So the question is what was not quite right? What made him decide he'd be better on his own?
Sometimes people don't even know what is wrong. They just know SOMETHING is wrong and they have trouble figuring out what it is. So it might not be that he's hiding it. He might honestly not know.
If you are still being friends, I would sit down and ask him what you can work on - not for him, not to get him back - but just to become a better, more independent person. Tell him you want to start the new school season with some self-growth goals. Ask him what he'd suggest you work on. Remember, you can't complain or be upset or ANYTHING during this. You have to listen happily and thank him for whatever advice he gives because you're proving to him that he can talk to you honestly.
Then listen to what he says, thank him, and leave it at that. Think about the advice *later* on your own, when he's not there, and consider if that issue he brought up might have been something that bothered him.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com