Shows signs of Abuse.

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female

about a week ago my boyfriend and I had a big fight. He was putting me down (thought he was joking) in front of others and his eyes was wandering alot that I confronted him. It seems that I was being too demanding or yelling, he lost control and punched my rearview mirror.

when I got home my father got so mad seeing that my bf punched the rearview mirror of the car he told me to stop seeing my bf. My mom hates him too. My friends say I deserve better.

I, however, don't know how to end this, I told him before I wanted to break up with him in person after the fight and over the phone, but he doesn't seem to get it and keeps texting and calling me saying how much he loves me and he is crying. I want to go back to him but I am afraid it might just be a pity factor but not love. I am not even sure if I love or trust him. It's only been 4 months, and I am going abroad to study soon.

Do you think I made the right decision breaking up with him?

Thank you so much. Advice
I think you made the right decision. People who have anger issues almost always apologize profusely afterward. They promise they'll never do it again. They cry, they plead. And then you go back and the anger issue is still there of course, and the next time they do something slightly more nasty. And again they cry and plead. And because you forgave them the last time, you're likely to do it again. This is generally how women end up in abusive relationships, and the stats are really scary. Something like one in three women have been abused at one point in their lives.

Four months is still the courtship period. If he was having "fun" putting you down, and is already hitting things while he's still in the courtship time period, breaking up was very wise. Enjoy your study abroad, and be free for the new, interesting times you will be having!

Good luck!

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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