She's Not Interested

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
hi ! I am from India, a 29 year old man who loves a 19 year old girl very truly. I love her a lot, after so many ups and downs she finally makes me a friend. Our parents know each others family because our homes are a little distance away. She always know that I love her a lot. I proposed her but she told me that it is not possible, we are good friends. I know that her family is rich so she hints me that it is not possible.

i always show her how devoted i am towards her. She acts me as a friend, but i want more... I start touching her. She enjoyed it. Than I often give her hug. And sometimes kisses on the cheek, hand, arms and neck. She enjoyed it and always gives me hugs a lot.

Unfortunately one day (1 year ago), her father saw us while we are hugging. After that my bad days start. he keep me away from his family and my love. I try to make contact with her but she told me that now it is not possible to talk to you.

(one thing about her nature that she is very kind girl and fully devoted to her family. She is afraid of her father. And little confused-type girl too.)

We had no contact for 4 months. Finally I try to contact her via phone, she agree to talk to me but she told me that we are only friends. I agreed and start talking to her and send her emails also regularly. She also sends reply. Sometimes online chatting also. She wish me happy friendship day on 1st of august.

Now tell me "is there any hope of love in the future?". Did she love me in the earlier days or did she always see me as a friend ? She is a very simple and honest girl. Please tell me is there possibility of love in future.. Suggest me.... I am totally confused... Please help .... Advice
This girl told you right up front that it wasn't possible for her to be romantic with you. Yes, she gave in slightly when you did things to her, but she wasn't actively encouraging the relationship to go further. She was warning you that there wasn't going to be a future here.

Her father and family seem to clearly want her to date other people. And, as you said, she is a person who cares for family very strongly. This isn't a Romeo and Juliet situation where a headstrong girl follows her passions and launches out despite what her family says. In this case, the girl wants to do what her family wants, and she has told you repeatedly that she just wants to be friends.

I think you need to abide by her wishes. She has tried to make them clear several times. I know it's hard, but if you love her, you need to want to have her be as happy as she can be. And apparently that is by letting her be a part of her family, and listening to her family's guidance, and being with a man that she feels is right for her.

I think it'd probably be best if you looked around at the many other wonderful women in your area, and directed your energies to one of them who would gladly welcome your advances.

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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