Abusive Husband Better than None?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I want to leave my husband of 4 years but I can't do it or else my children will grow up without a father. He came to this country as a temporary worker and ran off and was living in the country illegally until he met me. I have been waiting for 4 years for it be over so we could separate and everything would be over. He says he is just using me for that reason.
I feel so helpless, hopeless, depressed and miserable. I have two kids and one on the way. If I send him back to his country my kids won't have a father and I won't get any child support. My husband is emotionally abusive and he is very controlling.
I don't know where to turn or what to do. I need help, but I don't have anywhere to turn. I feel like I am at a dead end right now, like there is no way out. Please could someone tell me what to do. Should I stay? or Should I go? and How can I do it?
Absolutely you should LEAVE. There is no way you should raise children in a household with an abusive father because somehow that is better than no father. Children thrive in homes with love and trust. You can create that home without a father there. There are many support services to help you with that. You should at all possible costs get your children into a situation where they are loved and nurtured.
Plus, who is to say the kids won't have a father? It could be that once you're free of this abusive man that you will meet the perfect man who adores your kids and adores you. You could then have the perfect family your children deserve.
Call local shelters. This is what they are there for. Get their support. They will walk you through what to do. You deserve it - and your kids deserve it.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com