He Wants to Date Other Women

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
Ok, so me and my ex had to break up because of how he acted at school, he tells me 2 days before he has a new gf and tells me he loves me...then he get a gf...then a few days later he will NOT respond to any text or calls...

2mo Later I text him from my best friends phone and he texts back because he thinks it's her...I ask why he won't talk to me and he said "it hurts too bad because I loved her"

well I texted him today and he talked to me but he's like "we cant text" and telling me to get over him because I don't need him...(what!?!)

I think it'll help talking but he WONT compromise it hurts (we were together for 8 mo. And he was my first kiss...I have an attachment to him)

HELP!!!! (btw he has problem with staying attached to people because of his past...he pushes the ones he love the most away)

RomanceClass.com Advice
It is not uncommon for guys in the middle school / high school range to want to date a variety of girls. They simply want to try out all the options. It sounds like this guy doesn't want to tie himself down with one girl. He was with you for eight months - and now he wants to be with someone else. Trying to force him to change is fairly unlikely to work. A person can never force another person to change. He wants to date other girls. The more you resist that desire in him, the more actively he's going to want to do it.

If you really think this was meant to be, then you have to give him his time. Let him date the other girls. Let him get that drive out of his system. At some point - hopefully - he'll be at a new stage in his life where he does want to settle down with one woman. When he gets there, you want to have maintained your presence and be there for him. That may be when he's ready to turn to you.

But that all being said, I'm not sure I advocate sitting around sad and moping all with the vain hope that this one particular guy will eventually want to be with you. That doesn't seem to be a positive way to lead a life. Yes, you loved him. Yes, he was your first kiss! These things happen to pretty much all women. It's time to accept he was good for then, he is not a good fit for now, and to let him go. He has his other interests. That is the way he is. You can't change him. It's like loving a leopard. You can love the leopard with all your heart, but is it right to therefore stuff him into a cage so you can watch him? Or is it right to let him loose so he can enjoy the life HE wants? No person can change another person. He is the way he is. You need to find a guy who is READY to be with you now, and who cares for you.

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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