She's Gorgeous - I Want Her

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
This girl is absolutely gorgeous. Like fifteen boys who hang around her have admitted that they love her, doing so usually makes her uncomfortable because she doesn't feel such a connection with them. She openly admits that we have a strong connection that's not shared with anyone else, and we regard each other as best friends.

I hang out with her every day. She is a few months younger then I am, and is a lot more experienced with relationships. We have hooked up once before, but we were drunk, and the next day we called it a mistake because she wasn't ready for a relationship at the time.

She now claims to want a relationship, and is considering another friend of ours. I don't think I would be able to stay sane if she hooked up with him.

Her and I can complete each others sentences. I try to romance her as much as I can, but I don't know if she likes me like I like her. I am positive around her, and can make her laugh easily. We know each other better then anyone.

How do I tell her how I feel in the most amazing and romantic way possible? Advice
It concerns me that your opening sentence is about how gorgeous she is. That should never be the primary reason you love someone. Beauty fades. Wrinkles set in. Grey hairs come in. If the reason you love someone is that they have stunning skin, it's not going to last. No aspect of that kind of beauty does.

She knows you are there - but she's looking to other guys to date. Every person has their own interests in life, and that is the way life goes. You cannot force someone to like you just because you like them. We all have different draws. A relationship is only perfect if you are drawn to her AND she is drawn to you, naturally, without coercion.

Certainly you can tell her you want to date her. Somehow maybe she missed all your signals. But it sounds like that would have been hard for her to do. It sounds like she knows you like her, and she's just not interested in that way. That's not something you can force to happen. It's a part of a person's basic make-up. It can't be changed. It would be like forcing someone to hate chocolate and love strawberry instead.

It's not a matter of being "amazing" in telling her. It is absolutely about being HONEST. If she isn't impressed by your honesty, nothing else will matter.

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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