He's Worried about Money
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Call me L. 2 months ago I was introduced to a guy, just call him T...who is my friend's best friend. I am staying in Malaysia and he lives in Europe. My friend is Malaysian who is living in Eur too and T is his church's mate.
T is 14 yrs older than me and never married before. My friend said that T was hesitated when he was introduced to me because he was not sure to have a long distance relationship due to cost matter but then my friend talked to him and finally T contacted me by emails and we exchanged fotos.
It's been 2 months and he emailed me 1-3 times weekly and so far we had shared stories about families and friends. I did send him a gift for his birthday last month (a shirt by post) and he accepted well. When my friend celebrated a party for his son's birthday, T came to the party, and he wore the shirt that I gave him.
The biggest concern, T never called me by phone. He said that his mobile phone can not access overseas calls so I am always the one who call him once a week. And sometime he cut the conversation, for example: L, my dinner is getting cold, I have to eat now, call me another time oke..nice to talk to you, c ya.
or he would say: L, I have to go now, I have appointment with friends..call me another time....
Sometime he only write a very short email but sometime long ones...
I am confused...Should I give this guy a chance or it is signs that he is not into me at all? I meant...I do not wish to waste time in waiting for someone who is not into me..I talked to my friend and he asked me to give more time to know T better because it's only been 2 months and do not give up on T yet....but I feel in my heart that T is not really into me.
what should I do?
I think T made it clear up front that he is living on an extremely tight budget and he was worried about trying to have a relationship with that restriction. So it seems quite reasonable that he can't make international phone calls and the like. But Skype is free! Why can't he Skype with you? That way nobody has to pay for any phone calls and you can talk as much as you want. Probably a big reason he cuts your phone calls short is that he's feeling guilty about making you pay too much for those calls.
I'd be sensitive to his money concerns, and find a way to communicate for free. That way he's more open to talking as much as he wants. Then see what he does in that situation!
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com