My Husband and my little Cousin

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Ive been married for 7 years and i am always jealous about my little cousin. she is 17 and me and my husband are both 26.

first they play around by hands, well at first not any more. and when she stays at my house to sleep she always dresses sexy around him and tries to show of her breasts, which i dont know if she does it on purpose.

then he had a dream about her where they kissed and that she showed him some sexy pictures, which i didnt say nothing, and i didnt mind. but he told her about it, he said he meant nothing by it.

then she wished him happy birthday on facebook and he said, thank you much love for you baby girl. which bothered me a lot. because all those times we had problems that involved her, nothing serious only the ones i mentioned, but i get so jealous of it and when i do, my mind acts alone and wants to destroy the relationship.

our relationship is perfect in every other way, but sometimes i think that he wants something to do with her because he is too nice with her, and that causes me a lot of jealousy.

plus he has never been with any other woman but me and sometimes i think that the curiosity makes him wonder a lot. ive been with other people before him though

please help me thanks Advice
It is perfectly normal to be jealous in this kind of a situation. Family members are around a lot, and in comfortable / intimate kinds of situations. So connections can grow fairly strongly between the people involved. There are all sorts of stories about husbands who then fall for the "other sister" because she is around all the time and she ends up being the "fun" one because she doesn't have any responsibilities in life. Or of a wife falling for the "other brother" or cousin or whatever because her husband is too busy paying the bills, while the relative is free to go out dancing or partying.

It's also fairly normal for teenage girls to push boundaries, test the lines, and feel driven by hormones. They have new bodies and can want to show them off. They can be pushed by hormones and not skilled yet at managing them. So your cousin could have all these feelings within her and bask in the attention of guys which is all fairly new. So it's hard for her to stop.

It is completely fair for you to set boundaries in this relationship. First off, she doesn't need to sleep over. She can have day visits and that is it. If she absolutely has to sleep over, then you can have house rules as another woman in the house that her clothing must be decent, if she wants to stay. Start there and see how things go.

-- from Lisa
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