I Want Kids, He is Not Ready
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
My boyfriend and I have only been dating a couple months. We are both 18 and still trying to finish school. Right now, he working two jobs and going to school to be a medical assistant. I'm real proud of him and I feel like he a good catch. All I really want is a family and I'm not sure if he want kids right now.
The problem is that he don't like using condoms anymore and I just go along with it because I AM ready for a baby. But we never talked about having children and I'm wondering if he's aware of the fact that I'll get pregnant if we keep having unprotected sex. I feel like I'm being selfish even though it was all his idea to stop using condoms.
I don't wanna ruin everything he working by by slowing him down with a child. Even though he older than me, I still feel like it's my responsibility to make sure he not jeopardizing his future for me. He also supposed to be transferring schools soon. I tried to talk to him about the situation but he wasn't trying to hear it. When I met him he didn't want kids this soon. He was more focused on his schooling and now that I told him I'm ready for children, he has been talking about having them. I do wanna be with him and start a family but I don't wanna be selfish to my man either. I feel like I'm a bad influence right now because I know he just wants to make me happy. But I want him to be happy too.
Am I steering him in the wrong direction? Or should I just take this chance and run with it since I know he's a good provider and he'll help take care of our family?
You two have only been together for a few months. You have your entire life to raise kids and care for them. You should not jeopardize your new relationship - which is barely getting started - by making things even more complicated than they are right now. He is already juggling two jobs plus school plus getting to know you.
As half of this couple, you are responsible for seeing its course towards a healthy future. There are many other forms of birth control - you should investigate one that works right for you. If you two are mature enough to be having sexual relations, then you need to be mature enough to do so responsibly.
Babies are incredibly expensive. You need to wait until he is done with school so you can afford to pay for all the bills that come with properly raising a child. He can't be a good provider if you hit him with expensive bills before he's ready with a better job to pay for them.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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