Feeling like a horrible person.
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
So I am in a situation where I am at a complete loss of what to do, and I feel I need some help. I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years now, we live together, have pets together, and are very serious. He has also been my best friend for the past 7 or 8 years now. I love him very much, and we talk about marriage and a future together all the time.
Here is where the problem lies: I have been slowly falling for his brother. At first, it was just a general attraction, so I dismissed it. But the more I see and talk to him, the more I am drawn to him. Now it's gotten to the point where I just can't seem to get him out of my head. I feel like a horrible person, and I'm not sure what to do. It's not like this is someone I can just get out of my life, since he is my boyfriend's brother, I see him all the time. And the stronger I feel towards his brother, the more distant I feel towards my boyfriend. I guess my question is, is this just lust towards his brother? And I know nothing could ever happen between his brother and I, and I'm not sure I want it to, so how can I stop these feelings?
It probably is just lust. If you and your boyfriend are talking about marriage you need to come to terms with this because the brother will be a part of your life forever. If you're going to have a successful marriage ALL your attention needs to be focused on you husband. Also, do you want to be responsible for causing friction between your boyfriend and his brother? This infatuation could have far reaching implications that goes beyond sibling rivalry. His parents, your parents, your pets could all be devastated by this. I can't help but feel that there's something missing in your life that you're trying to replace with this brother? Do a little soul searching, find out what that is and fix it, then go have a happy life with this guy.
-- from Jill
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com