How do i deal with hurt jealousy when it was not cheating

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
Im a 20 years old and have dated 4 girls in my life and I have dated this last one for 4 years but due to college and boredom with the relationship she broke up with me 7 months ago. It was not because she did not love me, things were just getting too dull and she wanted to live the college life. It has taken me a long time to get over her and im still not there yet because i still believe that she might be the one. She was dating someone for a while now, which I have jealousy issues with.
Recently we have been talking again and we are still madly in love with each other, I still love everything about her, and we are thinking of getting back together but she was straight up with me telling me shes had sex with him and this is eating me alive. I STILL love her though and I smile ever time she calls or I see her, but I feel like Im going to throw up with just the thought of kissing her. All this has been communicated and she is willing to help me through this but we don't know where to begin. When I think about it brakes me down. I have been dealing with it by forgeting about it or letting stress out by working out or by staying really busy. But I'm really scared that this will hurt our relationship later in life and I would use her slip up against her in an arguement or something.

I dont know how to get completely over this jealousy. I want to deal with this and she is willing to work with me but i am lost, i feel so hurt. What is it i can do to get over this so i can love her completely again? Advice
You have two choices: you can stop letting this image of her sleeping with someone else eat you up inside and get on with having a relationship with her. Or you can let that image continue to get in the way of having any kind of future with her. It's your choice.

-- from Jill
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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