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[Love is] to be two and at the same time one. --Sonya Levien

Ex Tortures My Best Friend

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
A few days after I broke up with my ex, I sent my best friend over to him to help him calm down because he wouldn't listen to me. He then asked her out to get back at me, and she instantly refused.

Now it's been over a month, and he's asked her out thrice since. I told her I would give them my blessing anyways even if they went through with it because I want them both to be happy even though it's against the ex-rule.

Not to mention, my ex lies to me about it. I'm aware of him doing this, and I asked him about it, and he lied by saying he didn't to it although I have solid proof. He even says, word by word, "I'm not going to fall in love with anyone but you. Lots of girls asked me out when we broke up, but I refused them all for you."
I know that this isn't the truth because he is NOT a popular guy. Barely anyone wants to deal with him intimately. Yet he has the guts to make up an awkwardly stupid lie to me. Why is he doing this?

I wouldn't complain if my best friend had said yes. But she really hates his incessant nagging at her, trying to get her to be his boyfriend. He's desperate for one, and tries to feel her up in public. She can't stand taking that treatment, and I can't bear thinking that she's hurt because I sent her to him in the first place.

I can't make him stop because he's a stubborn hothead who doesn't listen to other people's opinion, I can't get her away from him because we all go to the same school... I don't think it's right to involve my other friends in something that would only trouble them. So what can I do to help her?

RomanceClass.com Advice
This young man is harassing your friend and it has to end. Pushing unwanted sexual attentions on someone is wrong and illegal to boot. If he is feeling her up against her wishes, then she needs to report this to people in authority. You can go with her for support. Talk to a college official, get her and/or your parents on board, or even go to the police to file a report. Even if all you do is make the report, at least you will have started a paper trail for you and your friend's protection.

Don't let this kind of poor behavior continue. This could become worse - girls can get raped by unstable men like this - and you could prevent a life threatening situation later on by getting official help now.

-- from Jill
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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