To be, or not to be?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
My girlfriend of 3 months has recently broke up with me. As our relationship progressed we would nit pick at our different tastes in style, music, movies etc... She would first insult me, then I would retaliate. I can be jealous at times when she wants to go hang out with friends or even a guy friend alone. I fear for her safety in moments like that and couldn't seem to make her understand why I was being to overprotective.
When she broke up with me, she said that she needs her space and breaking up is the best thing for the both of us right now. I made all the post-break up mistakes and am now trying to figure out what the best course of action is to get her back. When I asked if there was a chance of us ever getting back together, she couldn't give me a straight answer, but of the times we talk either online or on the phone she still says she loves me like always.
I've learned that I need to give her space and not contact her for a while but the signals I'm getting are confusing.
She even moved me down on her top friends list on myspace and said she couldn't have everything centered around me like before. Is she really just needing space to figure things out so she can grow up and figure out what she wants like she says? Or is she just trying to slowly erase me from her life and I'm wasting my time taking all the right steps to gain her trust and affection back? Thanks.
It sounds like she really wants to have you both move on. Either she is playing a game with you - and you don't need that - or she is genuine about it being over. Either way, you should not pursue trying to get back together.
If you want to be friends with her, then that is okay - but find out if that is really what she wants at all. Maybe she is trying to ease you gently out of her life completely. Ask her to be honest with you about wanting to maintain the friendship. It could be that your energies are better spent on things you will get more out of.
-- from Jill
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com