I Took Her Advice, I'm Ready to Try Again
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
My ex-girlfriend broke up with me a little over a month ago after being together for almost 2 years. We broke up because things were not changing and or growing, I think for the most part on my end, and she became unhappy as a result.
Since then I have lost weight, focused on things that she had saw negative about me and changed them but, for myself. I feel a lot better now but, I want her back more then anything. I am trying to see other people but, no one turns me on physically and mentally like she did and does.
I have looked at your advice and I am wondering where to go from here. She left for New York on a vacation a week ago. Prior to that she sent me an e-mail asking how I was and wondering if she thought it would be all right to give me a call before she left. Then the following day she wrote another e-mail saying basically the same thing. The day after that she called one of my friends and asked if he thought it would be all right if she called me before she left.
I gave her a call not yet knowing that and we talked for about an hour and it was great because I believe I showed a good level of confidence and strength in my new approach at my life but, I also told her that I felt something to be missing (she asked me how I was), which was an implication that she was that missing piece.
At any rate it has been a week and I was wondering if maybe I should drop her a line and see how she is doing in New York, or just wait for her to contact me, or even call her when she gets back in another week. I believe that we can work things out and I see why things went so sore in the end.
Any recommendations or advice?????
It's good that you took her suggestions to heart in a way that YOU wanted and feel better about yourself as a result. It's a shame that she felt she had to leave you to make her point, and couldn't work with you AS your partner, but that's in the past now. Now you are happier and want to share that with her.
I would definitely contact her as a friend - she obviously was very eager to talk to you and seems to miss you quite a bit. Don't pressure her, but show her that you are indeed a different, better person and still want her in your life. It sounds like you have a really good chance of having a second shot at this. But this time make sure you BOTH promise to talk about issues LONG BEFORE it comes to the point of breaking up. If there is any sort or issue it should be brought up, talked about, and a solution worked on. it should never get to the point of her saying "you have to do these things, see ya, bye." That really points out a failure in the relationship, not a failure in your weight or anything else.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com