Started as Friend - How to Get Closer?
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
I met this girl when I was 14 years old. I lived in Colorado at the time and she lived in Wyoming. I was here on vacation for the summer when I first met her. I did not see are for the next summer, but it did come back for the entire summer of 2008. I really liked her, but I had to go back to Colorado at the end of the summer for school.
The summer of 2009, I moved to the same town as her permanently. We hung out a few times over the summer just as friends. Every time we hung out I liked her more and more. One thing that was holding me back was that we work together, and I'm scared of rejection.
She quit working because she only works in the summer, and her absence keeps making me wonder how she is. We were text messaging the other night and I told her how I feel about her and a relationship. She kind of went with the idea in a joking manner.
Now that there is sort of an awkward tension between us as friends or in a relationship, how do I make it so we are friends and she can think about a decision between us, but not make it seem like all I am doing is waiting for a decision on our relationship.
This situation is incredibly common - countless movies have been written exactly about this type of situation. So take heart that what you're going through, all sorts of teenagers have gone through.
I would take it slowly. The transition of going from friends to boyfriend-girlfriend is a gradual one and the easier you make it, the more smoothly it goes. Don't push the issue. Offer to go to movies. Offer to hang out.
The core of being a boyfriend-girlfriend is that you really like spending time together. So prove to her that being together is a lot of fun, and as she gets used to the idea, the relationship can grow more solid.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com