I'm in love with my friend... he's talking to someone else
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I (21 female) have been great friends with this guy (22) for quite some time. I have had the biggest crush on him for like a year now. His girlfriend cheated on him about two months ago and I was the first person he came to when he found out. Since then we have kept in better touch and we often go out with our group of friends and hang out. He just started dating an old high school girlfriend about two weeks ago. Last night we were at a concert (she wasn't there). We talked at the bar for awhile and I asked about her. He said that she was nuts about him and that he was just having fun, even mentioning that they weren't exclusive yet. Towards the end of the concert I mentioned to him how I felt. He seemed really flattered and almost excited but he said there was nothing he could really do since he was seeing this other girl. He asked a lot of questions like, how long had I felt that way and said that things wouldn't be weird between us so not to worry about that when we were hanging out. I guess my question is, what should I do? This guy is amazing and I am head over heals in love with him. I wonder now if I should take a step back or should I take a step forward? I want so bad to just grab him and give him a huge kiss and for that to be it, and i probably would if it weren't for the girl. What is the best way to handle this situation?
He's only been seeing her for two weeks so the rules about not breaking up relationships are a little looser than if he was married for five years when, of course, you wouldn't make a move on him.
But, you have made it quite clear to him how you feel so it's time to take a step back and see what he does. It is ok to continue to let him know how you feel and tell him you are hoping his relationship is just a passing thing.
However, the longer he stays with her the more you should back off. It isn't an easy thing to do, but the right thing to do.
Sorry you have to suffer through this during the Holiday season. Make sure you have lots of fun with other guys too and maybe you will find another one you like.
Best wishes, George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com