Is he falling for me?
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
I've been seeing this guy for about a month now, but we've admired each other from afar for the past 4 months. Last night we got into an argument regarding another female and he was desperately trying to tell me that he isn't going to hurt me like my ex did.. ( I recently got out of a 3 year relationship where my ex beat the crap out of me) Anyways, He kept telling me he isn't going to cheat or hurt me in any way because he knows what i went through with my ex. Well he got tears in his eyes and he wouldn't tell me why. I kept asking him to please explain his feelings for me and he told me that he never expected to develop feelings like this with me. (Keep in mind he is 6 years older than me) He wouldn't come out with the way he was really feeling so he pointed to his EYES then to his HEART then to ME. I pieced it together and there's really no other meaning for it than "i love you".. I think he may be falling for me but I'm not sure. This is the first time I've actually been HAPPY with someone. He treats me with so much respect and he always knows how to put a smile on my face. Even when I'm very angry. I don't know what I should do. He told me to keep it between me and him, and I'm very flattered that he opened up to me. I've expressed my feelings for him and I'm trying to be as up front and honest with him as I can. I want this relationship to be different. Is there any pointers that you could give me on how to approach this situation? I really feel like I'm falling for him too. I just don't want to move too fast. And he actually hasn't said the words "I'm falling in love with you" He just did the hand motions and kept emphasizing how much he cares about me and how much feelings he has for me... What should I do? Please help lol
It's clear that he loves you and that is great!
Now it is up to you to make him respect your desire for not moving too fast. If he is the real thing, he won't push you.
My advice is to wait until you are sure you have recovered from your last relationship and also to make sure this new guy doesn't have some serious hidden character disorders. He seems nice so far but you never know.
You also need to figure out whether the age difference causes you problems. Hopefully age won't matter, but each person is different.
As you said, you want this relationship to be a great improvement over your last one. That suggests your plan to take it slow is a good one.
Best wishes! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com