My girlfriend became a model...and it's driving me insane.
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I'll start out by stating that I am 23 years old and I am madly in love with my girlfriend - to the point where it hurts to be so in love. The biggest issue with our relationship is distance. We do not live in the same city, nor do we even live in the same state. We met online, fell in love online, and still date online. I know this could potentially be the biggest cause of our issue, but I'm looking past the generic, "You guys need to live closer - it will fix most of your issues." Neither of us have the resources to move closer, though we have both discussed it and would love nothing more than to be together in person this very second if it were viable.
Now, I'll move onto the deep root of the reasoning for me submitting this question. My girlfriend became a model a few months ago, which I thought was interesting at first because she was having fun and she was able to show just how insanely beautiful she really is. The modeling began eating away at me and I've become more and more jealous as every day passes. She has told me that she would never be a nude model, either artistic or in some of those magazines that growing boys would find in their father's dresser. I believe her, but the pictures she is starting to get into are becoming a bit suggestive. She tells me that she is wearing clothes underneath (such as a swimsuit or her bra and underwear) - but it's hard for me to believe this because I feel like she's saying it just to keep me from getting jealous. When I see the pictures, it makes me think that she had to strip down to her undermost clothing in front of someone, and that person had to have been involved in helping her sit right or get into the correct pose. I just can't begin to fathom the different scenarios involved with her modeling with other people watching. I hate feeling like this, I hate with immensely. But I also hate the fact that other guys are getting to see her in her most private clothing, something in which I don't get to see. She says she loves me just as much as I love her, and when we spend late nights on the phone or online, I truly feel she loves me. But when it comes to the modeling, I don't think she understands exactly how I feel.
How can I learn to accept her modeling and accept the fact that other guys are getting to see her bare body in it's most private state, when I can't even see it? How do I get over feeling like she doesn't love me as much as she says because she shows herself to these strangers, yet won't show herself to me? It's a hard situation with all of the factors involved and it kills me every day because we argue at least every day or every other day regarding my jealousy.
I don't know what to do. I don't know how to express myself correctly and informatively to prevent us from getting into heated arguments over things that I'm sure someone else would find completely irrelevant to the way I'm feeling.
I hope someone can help, because this is eating me away.
Thank you for your time.
Actually I think most guys would feel just the way you do and for the reasons you mentioned. She is just trying to make you feel better when she says you shouldn't be jealous. Don't argue with her... just agree to disagree and thank her for her trying to make you feel better. What do you expect her to do... quit her job?
To see how to deal with your jealous feelings:
or Google "deal with jealousy" or "dealing with sexual jealousy"
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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You aren't the only one to feel this way