flirted with others/love him/want him back!

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
I dated my Ex for 6 months last year, and one month this year.but our last relationship ended because i had flirted with other guys not noticing it.He didnt tell me how he felt he just dumped me.I love him still, and can not get over him.we still talk but he says he hates me, and callled me a B*tch for flirting with other guys.i dont know how to get him back.And have aploigized many times but i reallly hurt him!I can't stand to not be with him..Life was better with him.please help me. Advice
The only way I can help you is to give you advice which you probably won't like.

You are young and in love and for those reasons you are not accepting reality and moving on with life as a well adjusted human being. You have been suffering way too long and if you don't accept reality you may continue to suffer for more years. In fact, if you don't learn from this lesson it could affect the way you live as a grown woman, a wife, and a mother.

He is the cause of the problem, not you. He is a controlling, self-indulgent, overly sensitive young jerk. (And I am probably not using any words that you yourself used in your mind when you were angry with him.) Forgive him because he is young and got his attitudes from his life experiences. But forgiving does not mean you should accept his ideas and continue to love him. You did nothing wrong but act like a normal girl. He gave you no warning and no chances to change if you wanted to.

He says he hates you and called you a B*tch even though you have apologized to him many times. And you wonder how you can get him back. You must have talked about this with your friends and perhaps your mother. I suspect they told you to forget him and move on with your life and find a nicer boyfriend who loves you enough to forgive you and warn you if he thinks you are making mistakes and hurting him. This is what real love is all about.

You are a good and loving person and you deserve to have a good and loving person to be with. Can you really imagine getting back with your ex and spending the rest of your life with him? It would be horrible. He can't be trusted and he is the one doing the hurting not you.

I am worried about you and if you can't get over him by the end of the year, my advice is to explain this to your mother and ask her to find a professional therapist. This person could explain much better than I can how you have come to some wrong conclusions and are suffering needlessly.

Sorry for dumping so much on your ex because I know you love him but that is the truth as I see it.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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