I'll Do Anything
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
I've liked a lot of girls in my seventeen years. A LOT of girls. I've gone through enough rejections and heartache to be almost completely numb to the pain. Then I met her. It didn't seem like much at first. She was just this wierd girl that followed me around. I didn't even really like her at first. Then I got to know her. She's such an amazing person and we connected on a level that I haven't even been on with my best friend. friendship turned into like and I asked her out. That's when I figured out she had some issues with men. The most important men in her life all but abandoned her and left her emotionally scarred and unwilling to open herself up completely to anyone. She knows better, but she's been in denial and seclusion for so long that she's afraid to come out. I tried to help her out, but unfortunately, I'm not the angel she wanted me to be. I made a lot of mistakes, mainly out of frustration, and I said a lot of things I wish I didn't, but my feelings only got stronger until eventually I grew to love her, but now she claims to hate me. The only girl that ever truly loved me and connected with me can't stand the thought of being around me now. I know she's hiding from how she really feels because that's what she's always done. She makes excuses for refusing to accept people by claiming she's a "bad person" when really she's just afraid of getting hurt and she's afraid to accept our feelings for each other because, again, she's afraid of it ending badly. She's dealt with the delusion and inner pain for so long that she can deal with it, but I can't. I love her more than anything, and without her, I feel like there's this chunk of me missing. sure, life's okay, but okay isn't good enough anymore. I want her back more than anything and I'd do anything to prove that we'll be okay if she would just believe in me like she used to. I just don't know what I can do. Please, if you have even the slightest inkling of what might help, tell me. I'll never find something this special with anyone else and neither will she, especially if she doesn't learn to open up to people like she did with me. I'll Do ANYTHING. and I have to do it fast, because this will be our last year together. but even if I have to go to wherever she is after high school to win her back, I promise to God that I will.
Make it very clear, many times, that you love her and will not abandon your effort to win her trust back again. This is what she wants to hear and will eventually accept. She too remembers the good feelings you once had and those feelings should convince her to return to you.
As you have explained, she is deeply troubled by her life experiences and you will not have an easy time of undoing the mistakes you made. You are not a psychologist so don't blame yourself if your efforts fail.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com