Not spending time with my girlfriend anymore
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I've been in a 6 month relationship with this girl that I've grown to love. We see each other every single day since we started talking. She used to live in California but she moved to Washington for school, when she moved back to California she didn't have any close friends and I was always around, I became her lover and her best friend. There are times where she would be upset about the fact that she doesn't have many friends and she would suggest that we spend less time away from each other so she can make and be with her set of friends. When this happens, we usually end up seeing each other everyday again and this issue would come up now and then, but the results would be the same... we agree to not see each other much and hang out with our friends, but then we just end up seeing each other everyday again. But about a couple days ago she's been planning to hang out with her friends more often and I barely see her. It is hard for me because I've grown so attached to her that it feels strange not seeing her everyday... it just seems like I'm not priority anymore and I'm not meeting my expectations... I used to go see her after work everyday but now when I call her she would have already made plans to go out with her friend so I don't get to see her anymore. I just don't know how to properly deal with this... I feel neglected and I am not priority anymore, I'm starting to become insecure and the thought of her cheating on me has already crossed my mind. I don't know how to talk to her about it without getting upset... please help.
It seems that you are the one who initiates the contact every day. She is the one who wants to have friends and not be together with you all the time.
You need to respect her feelings and not go off into the jealousy routine. If you really care about her, you will want her to have other friends and trust her to not cheat. That is what love is about.
If you can't resolve this problem then there is little hope of a long-term romance that might lead to marriage.
You also developed your anxiety after only a "couple of days" of changed behavior. Give her a chance to make a transition. It is possible that the first days after starting to make friends she may lean too far in that direction but return to the way thing were.
Give this some time and it will probably work out. As far as talking with her, if you can't talk with her then your relationship isn't as good as it should be. Perhaps you need to see a licensed therapist.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com