Am I allowed?
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
There is this girl whom I have known since seventh grade. I really enjoy spending time with her and I believe she does too. The fact is that I'm crazy in love with her and can't seem to get her out of my mind. That being said, her parents don't want her to date until mid-college and she even said she doesn't want to date now.
The question is as follows. She and I like to go places togeter and do things. I'll take her to see orquestra concerts, walk with her to Dairy Queen, take her to school dances, or go to a coffee spot. I take her on dates all the time but I am not her boyfriend. What should my level of physical intimacy be with her? Am I allowed to hold her hand or even kiss her? Would this be acceptable to do even if I am not dating her and would this ruin our friendship?
Thanks for all your help,
You are talking about having a friend with benefits. You would have to discuss this with her. She probably has physical feelings for you... it's part of normal human reactions. Maybe she is thinking of this too.
Does she know you are "crazy in love" with her? How does she feel about you? The answers to these questions have to be considered as you two decide what to do. Opening the door to a physical relationship is a powerful step to take and can easily go beyond what you anticipated. Her parent might be upset if they found out you two were getting too physical. But it is unrealistic for them to her to wait until mid-college before holding hands or kissing.
So one thing she can do is have this discussion with her parents and ask them outright whether they really expect her to wait so long before holding hands and kissing.
All of this will help you decide what is allowed.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com