Almost first boyfriend. And my good friend likes him.

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
One of my really good guy friends recently told me he liked me. And I have never dated anyone. He is really getting annoyed that I told him that I liked him (because I do) and that I`m not dating him. He thinks I`m leading him on. But I`m really shy about dating. And I told him that in less that a month I would be ready to date him.

The day after I told him this one of my friends tells me that she likes him again. Him and her dated in 6th grade and she dumped him. But she has always had a little crush on him. But she finally decided to admit it. But he hates her, and she knows it and he has made it clear that he really likes me. But I dont want my whole school to think I`m a jerk because I dated him and didn`t care about my friends feelings.

But I dont want to tell him that I dont want us to date because I kinda want to get into the whole dating thing. And I sorta like him. Also you could say that he`s a player. And it`s weird for him to actually want to date someone and not just get "action". Lastly I want to date him because he will obviously get mad since I already told him that we could date and he is a bit immature, so if I tell him no he wont want to have anything to do with me. So I would be losing a potential boyfriend and a really good friend too.

Should I date him?
How should I handle my friend?

Thank you for you help and time :) Advice
This is complicated.

First let's think about your friend who all of a sudden took a strong interest in him once she heard that he ask you out. You want to keep her as a friend so you need to have an important talk with her. Explain to her that you have never dated anyone and you told him you would date him soon. You can't tell him you changed your mind because everyone would think you were weird to do that. Explain that you would really appreciate it if she would give you a chance with him since it is your first time and also because she already dumped him and he is unhappy about that. If she is really your friend she will agree to this.

As far as dating goes... it is your choice if you do or do not want to start dating now. Keep in mind that a month is a long time and he will probably lose interest in you if you keep him waiting. Also, as you said, he might not want to have anything to do with you. Maybe you could tell him that you will start dating him in two weeks. That way he has a definite time and maybe not be upset.

Hope this helps.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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